AKB48

There are 56 members in the idol group AKB48, all girls aged 12 to 24. AKB stands for Akihabara, the notoriously eccentric Tokyo neighborhood where the group was invented, and where they perform for creeps on the 8th floor of Don Quixote every day.

AKB48 members usually appear as schoolgirls, popping cute little blinky faces and wiggling their limbs in talent-show dance moves. When they're not dressed in school uniforms, they're in bikinis or sexy (but sweet) lingerie.

AKB48 is used to promote an incredible variety of mainstream products, and you see images of the group in convenience stores, on train platforms, on magazine covers, on drink bottles. Sometimes it seems like AKB48 is everywhere. This distresses me because in my dreams, Akihabara is a quarantine for this kind of gross lolita bullshit.

The neighborhood, famous for its concentration of game and electronics shops, has cultivated a similar concentration of shopping and entertainment catering to anime, video game, and pornography subcultures. What you can find in Akihabara ranges from awesome (vintage game consoles and offbeat memorabilia) to distressing (pornographic comic books featuring toddlers). Unfortunately, the neighborhood leaks.

About a year ago, my junior high school and high school students started showing up with AKB CDs and writing in their class journals about going to the convenience store to buy chocolates to get AKB member trading cards. Before long I'd lost count of how many times I'd watched groups of 12 year old boys unfold the jackets of AKB48 cds to exclaim over photos of the girls in thigh-high fishnets and skimpy pastel bras and panties making pouty porno-moe faces. I'd lost count of how many times I've heard 12 year old girls discuss which AKB member is the cutest.

This is a group that was invented specifically for otaku men who fetishize young girls. The idea was to assemble a bunch of fresh young female faces and bodies to be sexually idolized, and keep them close and accessible to the guys who idolized them. AKB48's fans get chances to meet them at events in Akihabara all the time, and, like most idol groups, AKB48 makes it a point to acknowledge its otaku fanbase and ply them with sweet comments like "I consider myself an otaku, as well!"

Choose your favorite member and pretend she's looking at you while she drinks juice!

Akihabara bothers me. Idol groups like this bother me. Adults drooling over young girls bothers me. Encouraging cuteness as a major female virtue bothers me. That a sizable portion of men in the world can only think of girls as a mystifying and intimidating species, approachable only when they act like talking cupcake babies, bothers me. But AKB48 in particular bothers me.

Kiss me...

It's disturbing that someone can create a product as a porno fantasy for men who like underage girls, and then, having cornered that market, push the same product onto children through heavy mainstream exposure with singalong songs on the radio and advertising tied to bottled soft drinks, chocolates, and snacks. It bothers me that parents of young boys and girls aren't disturbed by the idea of their kids sipping this sickly sweet lolicon brew.

Sapporo Snow Festival

I went to Sapporo this weekend with Selena and look how promptly I'm telling you about it!

So check it out -- that is one cold city. But it is very pretty, the people were warm and friendly, and they know what to do with a lot of snow -- party with it.

I guess the military brings in truckloads of snow and snow and snow to be piled and sculpted. There's Snoopy, and behind him Mister Potato Head, and behind him, men at work.

My companion instantly recognized this baseball player. I was like SWEET, GIANT SNOW GUY WITH CORN!

This is a pretty unbeatable picture of Selena on the ferris wheel. Mountains! Mountains!

Dreamy guy sculpting an ice Pegasus with a chainsaw while a cheesy beer ad mirrors our delight. You're welcome.

Let me tell you about highballs in Japan. I came to Japan two years ago drinking whiskey and soda. A few months after I arrived, Suntory started this HIGHBALL ad campaign. A highball according to Suntory is Suntory scotch, soda, and lemon. The campaign was so giant and successful that now when I go to a bar EVERYONE is ordering highballs. There are special HIGHBALL BARS. What? Even this snowy festival has an ice sculpture devoted to highballs. The thing is, at some places, like big chain izakaya, if you order a highball, you get the cheapest scotch in a big mug of soda with a squirt of sweetened lemon syrup and a slice of lemon. Sugary and nast. So it's smarter to order whatever whiskey you want, plus soda. Then you have to explain to the table why you ordered a whiskey and soda instead of a "highball." Okay, every time I explain this, I can't remember why I'm annoyed by the highballs in Japan thing, but nevertheless, I usually am.

Whoa! Giant owls and foxes or something with a big snow building!

But you know what I really came for, right? FUCK YEAH!

Dinosaurs, man!

Yes! Dinosaurs!

The dinosaur centerpiece commits a minor faux pas...



MINOR? OMG IT GETS ME EVERY TIME! STEGGY! This video is the sole reason Stegosaurus is my favorite dinosaur.

If you're in Japan, fly around. I've gone to Kobe and Sapporo for about 20,000JPY using Skymark. You can reserve tickets online and buy them at a convenience store with your reservation number. Flying long distance within Japan is often cheaper than taking trains!

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Yesterday it was fucking snowing. WTF. But today was beautiful. I tried to call my mom in the morning. She didn't answer, but her ring tone was Boston's Long Time/Foreplay. It put me in such a good mood. Let me share that with you.

Leaves! Leaves! Leaves! Summer! I'm ready!

I'm always relaxed and productive at this kissaten. I went there after lunch to work on lesson plans. I'm adjusting to a major lifestyle change this month. For the last year I've been working at a bottom-rung teaching job, part-time, miserable work, no money, and so much free time. It's been an extremely interesting. I'm not sure if you can tell or not. I know some of you can, haha.

I don't like jobs. I'm almost 25 and I still say that, and you shouldn't bother telling me to grow up. I want to live my weird life and write however I want and that's it. I just have to keep finding ways to get away with it. For now I'm compromising because I get my own class of older kids who speak native English and I get to teach them literary analysis however I want. I was hoping this would help ease the pain of waking up at 5:30 and getting home at 6:20 and going to bed at 10:30 and having no time to work on anything of my own. I was right. I don't have as much time to get into trouble but I am really fascinated with the way everything looks right now.

Plus, no more school lunch, so I get to pack my own! Don't make fun of it. You got camarones in your bento? Creo que no.

I also made cornbread today! It was so good. I love these cans of baking powder. I meant to learn to cook Japanese food in Japan but I didn't find it all that fun, for some reason.

Low on Funds

Downgrading from 88 yen Megmilk brand coffee jelly to 3 for 88 yen Meiji brand... cafe jelly? You see the difference. You must add your own cream. And it has less than a third of the calories. Now you know.

Ayabean asked me how my New Year's Resolutions were going and I realized I forgot to make any. I'm usually really into New Year's Resolutions. So I've just been making up late ones as I go along. 1. Cook more often. I'm so fucking lazy but I've been pretty into simple cooking lately. I should try more complicated things but I'm broke and I'm LAZY and I can eat anything. Apple & cinnamon grits! SATISFIED. (I can't believe anyone doubts how good this is? Look at it. Delicious.)

2. Wear normal eye makeup more often. I am a big fan of looking like a kinderwhore junkie garbage skeleton but see, I can be reasonable once in awhile. It makes me MySpace pout I guess, but. I like this picture and any other pictures of my dresses together. It's almost warm enough for flimsy dresses again! I can't wait to go shopping. How stoked do you think I am that jumpsuits are back?



I LOVE jumpsuits. Actually I'm into the cotton nineties-floral ones that will probably be on everyone this year like last-year's short floral skirt + white top + cheap black belt (BARF). But I can always get with disco so I hope I can find some of that, too.

Last note, while we're on disco, check this song. Cannot stop listening.

All Over

I've got too many pressing interests right now. Today I'm really into yodeling. I heard that yodeling was originally a means of communication between mountain peaks in the Swiss and Austrian Alps. Badass.



I have this big thing for the Appalachian and Ozark regions of America. Almost all of the first white settlers of Appalachia came from around the Scottish/English border (that insane Appalachian dialect has more Scottish influence than any other American dialect), and after that tons of German and Swiss people came. That's why Appalachian folk music sounds like Scottish/English ballads with yodeling. Did you know?



Are you with me?

Story of my Life

Sometimes I just want to remind you how much I love Tokyo.






I ask for an interesting life. I go out alone, turn random corners, follow eye-catching people, loiter in restless places, accept invitations, wander down alleyways, miss the last train, sit on curbs, take different routes and stop at new stations. At some point I just started treating the world like my bedroom. Tokyo is the best place for me, or the worst. I'm frequently exhausted but I keep going out for more.

Care Package / Human Nature

My family sent me the best care package ever!

Peanut butter snacks! Taco seasoning!

My favorite face lotion! A necklace!

Vintage sheets!

Peanut butter is not equally adored the world over. Japan has peanut cream but it's much sweeter than typical American peanut butter. Japan also lacks a wide selection of cereal and Mexican food. As for vintage sheets, I love old sheets. Some people find this gross but I love the patterns. And, like, I wash them.

Thrifted clothes!

Japan also lacks garage sales, right? My mom got each of these dresses for 25 cents. There are like 5 more, a slip, and a jumpsuit.

Boooooks! AH, MY NORTON'S IN TIME FOR WINTER!

The box arrived the day after I unexpectedly burst into tears while video chatting with my mom and brother. Guess what, I love living in Japan, and I've never felt more unstable. I'm not the sanest person anyway and I went crazy in Yamagata. Since I've been in Tokyo it's just been nuts. I don't wanna recycle hyperbolic lines about this city but it's definitely a place that will do all kinds of things to you if you let it, and I just have more yes in me than no. I like living this way, but what usually feels like a great project can sometimes look like a huge mess.

I seriously don't have a worry at the moment, though. This package was so thoughtful and well-timed and cheered me right up. Then today I got this email from my mom:

Subject: dare you to be in a bad mood with this song
Body:


Hahaha. ILU Mom.

Where do we go?

So recently I've learned that a lot of people don't believe Axl Rose was ever hot. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.



The guitar solo? Watch that fucker move! If you can get through the entire second half of this video without hanging up your hipster cred long enough to call a fine piece of ass when you see it, WELLLL HAVE FUN IN LIFE, DICKHEAD!

P.S. A few weeks ago I got home from an early-morning shift feeling all punk rock and decided to stick it to the man by having a salad and a whole bottle of wine for brunch. I was blowing tunes into an empty bottle by noon, and then I started watching Guns N' Roses videos and getting really worked up, at which point I wrote this entry and saved it as a draft (probably on accident) and totally forgot about it until just now. Hahaha. That was a great day.

Happy Halloween

I have a major headache and no plans. ON HALLOWEEN. My favorite holiday! When did I stop having a life? I used to have a life. You know when you feel all reclusive for awhile and then you don't anymore but your phone has already stopped ringing? Pfff. I will recover and fling myself into the night later.


Here's my scary Halloween story. This week sucked. Lock your doors and windows, friends!

DIBS

The other day in Kichijoji I learned that Shakira was thisclose to the perfect alterego. Well it's MINE NOW! You snooze you lose!

Yesterday I was in my favorite jazz cafe with Chie and these two older American guys stumbled in. They looked like musicians and were super laid-back and nice. We chatted awhile and they asked for help getting to Ikebukuro for a tattoo appointment. I was going that way anyway so I told them they could follow me. We walked to the station and I asked what kind of music they play and they said hard rock and that they were here with Slayer and Megadeath. Before I transferred at Shinjuku I asked for the name of their band so I could look them up, and when they told me I was like LOL, OH. Can you guess who they were?

Fall

It seems like I've been swimming in one long summer since I moved to Tokyo in March, but it's finally over. I hate the end of summer but fall is lovely in Japan and this year I have pretty evenings with sunsets over skyscrapers to help me transition. Look, I can see Mt. Fuji from my balcony.

Can you see why I snapped this picture while I was waiting for the train?

Answer: this guy was rocking out all alone behind a billboard.


I can't remember if I had the blues before I started listening to Hank Williams today but I sure do now.



:(

Once more!

I posted this Glass Candy video about a year ago.



I'm posting it again because I remembered it suddenly and have been watching it all morning. It's just made of everything I like. Bizarrely so. I'm predictable but it's okay.

I'm having a pleasant day.

I've been waking up at 8am lately. Summer mornings are so lovely. I'm back in Japan & haven't stopped gloating over my perfect summer in Oregon, but I'll give you a break for now.

I think Julie and I have similar tastes so I always check out her recommendations. Today I read her mention of Fela Kuti and I'd never heard of him before, so I YouTubed him and fell in love. I spent my morning on the balcony listening to his music and eating corn out of a carton. Heaven.

Then I got a craving for coffee jelly, so I threw on a fabulous crochet dress I brought back from the States and strolled to one of the many old coffee shops in dear Nishiogikubo.

Coffee jelly is just what it sounds like, gelatinized coffee. It's really popular in Japan. I was skeptical at first but it's so delicious. It's served chilled and topped with ice cream or whipped cream. The best place to have coffee jelly is at an old kissaten, a Japanese coffeehouse. Traditional kissaten are decorated with a lot of heavy wood and knick-knacks. They always play old jazz and are popular with old people (and me -- I think they're super hip and will have a big revival sometime). There's no fancy espresso menu, just coffee, tea, toast, cake, and Japanese comfort-foods like omelette rice, spaghetti, and curry. Sitting alone by the window in a kissaten, eating my coffee jelly among all the adorable ancient old ladies having tea, makes me feel like a little kid with an old soul. Haha.

YOU KNOCK ME OFF OF MY FEET

I’ve been partying pretty hard for Michael Jackson every night since I heard the news, so I’m exhausted. And still sad. I loved Michael Jackson. He was mindblowing. He took pop artistery and performance to extreme, complex, unbelievable levels. No one else has gone there since then, and that’s the end of it.



Deaths of icons are bizarre and disorienting. They highlight the importance of shared culture, and the power of celebrity and performance and art. At one point Michael Jackson’s voice and body had half of the world in hysterics. What kind of a human being is that?

Joan Baez

Can you imagine having that voice? Everytime you opened your mouth it'd be like gold was pouring out from your chest!

Led Zeppelin's "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" (my favorite song) was inspired by Joan Baez's version:

Favorite Song

I'm still sick, can you tell? Post, post, post.



This is Led Zeppelin performing "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" in 1969 or something. This video gets me every fucking time! I didn't care about Led Zeppelin until I saw this video. I have been obsessed with it for like, almost two years. I started writing like this song, drawing like this song, dressing like this song. It totally overwhelmed me, like Wong Kar Wai. Those things are the best. They hit you so hard you start looking for them in everything you bring into your life. 3:55 - 4:40? Come on.



I keep having dreams where Bob Dylan and I are friends. Not even kidding. Last night I dreamed I walked into a new classroom and Bob Dylan was sitting at the front of the room with his guitar, performing HURRICANE for the kids. I was like WTF and he smirked and winked at me. Should I even tell people this?

Bedroom Eyes

It's a classic song but I just watched this video for the first time. I like the weird clashing vibes, how it's cool, kitschy, and punk at the same time. And man, would I hit that or what.

P.S. Can we bring organs back, please? I heard the reason they went out is that they don't translate well with modern recording methods. I say some psychedelic indie badass needs to tackle this in a sketchy basement studio, stat.

Glass Candy

This video feels just like life right now.

I couldn't complain, except -- instead of a hot sauntering city, imagine this in snowy Yamagata.

I try not to wait for summer all year, but.

January and February are the hardest of times.