Thursday, October 8, 2015

Goodbye, Blue Dress

Goodbye, blue American Apparel Double U-Neck Cotton Spandex Jersey Dress. You were always a little too tight and never stopped sliding up my thighs. But inexplicably I reached for you time and time again, and somehow you became my most loyal friend. Looking back now I can't believe how many nights we shared, and how vividly I remember.

Though under a sweater or blouse you passed for ordinary, you were the sleaziest dress I ever owned. Perhaps it was your hidden sleaze that helped me become my sleaziest self. For that notion, blue dress, I will honor you always.

I wore you under my big yellow sweater in the white-hot nucleus of my youth, living on moyashi and whiskey as I swam the streets of Tokyo. 

I wore you to Ni-Chome under a black-and-white tartan top that didn't look good with anything else. That night I got so drunk I failed to take a restroom selfie and took a nap in a parking lot. I never wore that top again. 

I wore you under a flea market cape on a date with an arrogant music exec who took me to an expensive bar and talked about himself for hours.

On Halloween night in 2010 I had no plans, and I wore you with maroon tights, black pumps, and a gray sweatshirt slashed at the collar. We went shopping in Shibuya and smoking in Shinjuku, where I befriended the enigmatic gutter host named Junkie Kou. 

So many years. So many memories. 

And then one day last week I wore you to a cafe in NYC and realized your shoulders had lost their shape. Inching up my thighs was one thing, but flopping down my arms? I knew it was time. You've reached your end, my wonderful, sleazy blue dress. I will remember you always.

Not everyone can live forever.


Vivian said...

Love this. It made me want to cry, and laugh at the same time. Oh man those Tokyo memories of yours- they're epic. I feel like I share something similar, but nowhere as wild. Tokyo will remember you forever, your spirit is still here

Beth Roeser said...

No joke, I FEEL like my spirit is still there -- running around without me. I know you share something similar! I need to catch up on all your posts. I've been out of the world for so long. I can't believe you have a bebe on the way!