Goodbye, Blue Dress

Goodbye, blue American Apparel Double U-Neck Cotton Spandex Jersey Dress. You were always a little too tight and never stopped sliding up my thighs. But inexplicably I reached for you time and time again, and somehow you became my most loyal friend. Looking back now I can't believe how many nights we shared, and how vividly I remember.

Though under a sweater or blouse you passed for ordinary, you were the sleaziest dress I ever owned. Perhaps it was your hidden sleaze that helped me become my sleaziest self. For that notion, blue dress, I will honor you always.

I wore you under my big yellow sweater in the white-hot nucleus of my youth, living on moyashi and whiskey as I swam the streets of Tokyo. 

I wore you to Ni-Chome under a black-and-white tartan top that didn't look good with anything else. That night I got so drunk I failed to take a restroom selfie and took a nap in a parking lot. I never wore that top again. 

I wore you under a flea market cape on a date with an arrogant music exec who took me to an expensive bar and talked about himself for hours.

On Halloween night in 2010 I had no plans, and I wore you with maroon tights, black pumps, and a gray sweatshirt slashed at the collar. We went shopping in Shibuya and smoking in Shinjuku, where I befriended the enigmatic gutter host named Junkie Kou. 

So many years. So many memories. 

And then one day last week I wore you to a cafe in NYC and realized your shoulders had lost their shape. Inching up my thighs was one thing, but flopping down my arms? I knew it was time. You've reached your end, my wonderful, sleazy blue dress. I will remember you always.

Not everyone can live forever.

Great Article on Japanese Host Clubs

I forgot to publish this post. One of my top favorite Japan blogs, Tokyo Moe, shared a link to this great interview with a guy who does group portraits of hosts.

Japanese host clubs in photographs.
Or, "More Hair Than Face."

CNNGo: Where does that specific host style come from -- with the feathered hair, dark skin, etc.?

Numata: I think they are imitating popular male idols like those from Johnny's Jimusho. There is a lot of crossover with gyaru-o style. And I think they try to match their customers' style which is very gyaru. When I started taking pictures though, the hosts didn't look very gyaru-o. They just wore suits and didn't have that crazy feathered hair. There are still a lot of old-school hosts who look like enka singers. The guys before the gyaru-o came in looked like Takuya Kimura. The mainstream hosts now don't really have that fake tanned skin anymore though. It depends on the place, but there are many guys who look like Visual-kei bands too.

This seems so straightforward but I'd never thought about it before. What will hosts look like in twenty years?

I Went to a Host Club

It was inevitable. I've always been intrigued by hosts, but I never really cared to go to one of their clubs. I love all things shady and beyond the fringe, but the thought of paying boys for attention never sat well with me because I am vain and uptight. Plus, I wasn't confident with my Japanese, so I thought I'd say something wrong and buy a $20,000 bottle of champagne or something. Anyway I ended up dating and befriending so many hosts and former hosts that after awhile there didn't seem to be any point.

Buuut I knew I had to go at least once. So the other night, a friend and I got dressed up and set out for the part of Kabukicho where the hosts prowl. We sauntered around conspicuously, making eyes in all directions. The first few advances came in broken English and dissolved into quick retreats. Whatever, wimps. Still, it didn't take long before a boy from Club Joker spotted us. He was the only one who came on energetically and checked our Japanese. Once he realized we could communicate, he turned on the charm full force and we followed him back to his lair. We were super nervous but he kept us talking and laughing with quick, flirty conversation and smooth moves. By the time we got to Club Joker we had gone from "We're just doing this to get it over with," to "OMG and after this one we can go to ANOTHER ONE!"

I'm wearing a kimono, writhing in the name-cards I received from hosts. It's like THUG LIFE translated to GIRL IN TOKYO. Hahaha. Anyway, for two hours we sat in a cushioned corner while a couple dozen boys came two or three at a time to entertain us. Apart from the first ten minutes with a couple of totally incompetent, presumably newbie guys who barely said anything to us, our experience there was flawlessly fun. It didn't feel phony or weird at all -- it felt like a fabulous party with extremely witty, glamorous hosts whose only concern was to keep us in the best mood possible. And now, in those terms, I completely understand the appeal of host clubs.

The most interesting part was seeing each host's angle. Some boys were lighthearted and cute -- one had a medley of perfectly honed adorable faces and poses just to make us go AWWW! Some were all jokes and wicked grins and kept us laughing. Some flirted and flattered and swooned over our beauty and charm. Some were just clever, friendly and easy conversationalists. They knew how to work together, too, and I think their chemistry and familiarity was largely what kept the atmosphere from feeling phony. I hadn't expected that. My favorite host was a blond who sat down near the end. As soon as I met his deep, concentrated gaze, my very tested and reliable instincts said this guy is sooo in love with me... The magic of hosts!

The best part was the bill. Host clubs always have a first-time special, usually 3,000 - 10,000JPY for 1-2 hours depending on the club. We thought we were paying 3,000 each for a two-hour, all-you-can-drink visit, but in the end, that was the cost for both of us! For the price of one expensive cocktail, I spent two hours guzzling booze with a bevvy of pretty boys bending over backwards to entertain me. Best deal ever?

IN CONCLUSION, I think host clubs are fab. I love that there's a place catering to female vice/desire that's clearly way more awesome than the sports bars, strip clubs, etc. that men have for refuge/comfort. If you speak at least conversational Japanese and are not a lonely person with an addictive personality, you should go to a host club. I'm pretty sure you can dig it.

Hosts

I have never talked about host clubs here, but YES NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT I know a thing or two about hosts. I have never been to a host club, but I've dated a former host and a working host and a few of my friends have been hosts. I actually don't know how I've known so many hosts, but I'm glad because that shit is interesting no matter how you look at it. Kabukicho is the famous place for host clubs in Tokyo. I just found this set on Flickr with photos of hosts in Kabukicho. I think they capture the atmosphere pretty well.

You can read the basics about hosts on Wikipedia or whatever. What I've gathered from talking to hosts is that it is an absolutely miserable job. They often work from 9PM to 11AM or later at the club. Many (not all) of the customers are hostesses who come in after work, which is why the host club hours are so late. New/lower-ranking hosts also spend hours on the street trying to pick up new customers. Hosts have to drink tons and tons of booze almost every night. Like, drink, puke secretly in the bathroom, come back with a grin and keep drinking levels of booze. Hosts make the most money off of the drinks girls order, so guzzling alcohol is required. I'm sure the job can be really fun sometimes, but in general it just sounds super rough.

Two of the most interesting things I've heard from hosts:

1. A new host is paired with a more experienced host during his first few weeks at the club. The mentor shows him the ropes and makes him do grunt work like fetching towels or whatever while they entertain girls. I guess the new guy gets very little money during this period. Basically any work he does entertaining pays off to his mentor, so things get bitter fast if the mentor doesn't treat him well in return.

2. One guy said that the worst part of being a host is sex. First of all, obviously, if you do it with the customer she has no reason to come back. But second, he said that when women offer tons of money (thousands of dollars) there are plenty of hosts who go for it, only to find that she doesn't want to use a condom. I find this interesting for a lot of reasons. Doesn't it sound like a weird host club urban legend? I mean how creepy. Is the implication that these women are out to get the guys with pregnancy or STDs?

When people ask what shocked me the most when I came to Japan I just think of hosts. I'll never forget walking through Osaka at night with the really young, hip woman I was homestaying with and being like, "Why are there so many pimps and why are they so fab?" She explained hosts and we spent the rest of the night going to the lobbies of host clubs and picking up pamphlets. I was so blown away by the concept. I should be way more jaded to it now but I never get sick of learning more about hosts. I'll probably go to a club eventually, although I'm not dying to.

See also:
Patrick Macias' review/summary of a magazine for hosts.
Green-Eyed Geisha's Project Host. This girl (one of my favorite Japan bloggers btw) visited several host clubs and wrote awesome recaps. This is the first.
The Great Happiness Space: Tale of an Osaka Love Thief. AMAZING documentary following the owner of a successful Osaka host club.