Sunday, January 3, 2010

THE FUTURE

Holidays in Japan blow! My Japanese friends always go back to their hometowns, leaving me to drum my fingers against my lips in peace for about two seconds before I dive for tights and mascara and head out on my own. Danger danger danger.

Good thing Amanda's in town this time. As you probably know, New Year's in Japan is for hanging with the fam. Well! New Year's in our world will always only ever mean disco makeup and party girl behavior. After a shopping trip, a few hours of Gaga and half a bottle of liquid liner, we were on the train.

Everything is closed in Japan around New Year's, especially the kind of bars I like, but my favorite place was somehow open. Unfortunately, as soon as we settled in with drinks and started grooving, this army of meatheads lumbered in and ordered a round of Jaegerbombs.

We barely had the chance to snicker any bitchy remarks before they sent drinks over. A minute later one of the guys swaggered over with a bra on his head (that's weird, someone must have left it on the ceiling last time she was here). Before long they'd worked themselves to a fever pitch and Bra-man was tearing his boxer shorts into pieces, pulling them out of his pants and shoving them down my dress.

Believe me, friends, this all lasted much longer than it was funny, and we spent the next couple of hours ducking and dodging. Amanda ended up passing out, and I ended up followed into a bathroom stall. Dude, I am not in the habit of turning down free service, but these people were really too much. I may vaguely remember drunkenly patting/shoving his face and bellowing, "NO NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, you CAN'T HAVE A GIRL LIKE ME, I'm TOO FILTHY and AWESOME!"

Thus Amanda once again wins the evening's prize for dignity. She held this elegant pose for nearly 5 hours! Brava. I shoved ice cream in her face for awhile as I fended off my drunken suitors, and that was basically my New Year's! We left Shibuya around 8AM, our hair and makeup impressively intact.

When we got up around 5PM, I pulled out of my dress a scrap of flannel, a note saying "YOU NAME IT, I'LL DELIVER," and a post-it with some girl's email address -- containing the word "bizkit." Yuck. But anyway -- It's 2010! I'm 24! I live in Tokyo. These days it's miniskirts, music, drinks and cigarettes, boys, blogs and breakdowns, poetry, pick-ups, parties, walks in parks, hotel rooms and hosts, waking up at 2 and getting dressed at 9, a few brilliant friendships, good books and a lot of long hours thinking scary thoughts. I don't think I'm wasting time.

4 comments:

selena said...

Ha ha good post. Happy new year.

Amanda Lynn said...

damn. we cool.

megu said...

Nope you aren't. Sorry I always read this and you don't know me and I guess that's wierd but you just really remind me of me when I lived there and was young and crazy. And the "are not" up there at the beginning was in reference to wasting time.

Beth said...

selena, happy late new year! hope your holiday lacked jaegermeister.

amanda, i know.

megu, don't be sorry! i'm so happy when i get comments from anyone and this one is really nice.