Now I'm Valentine's Day in Japan

Valentine's Day in Japan is when girls give boys chocolate and love. One month later on White Day, 3/16, boys return the gesture. I would tell both holidays to blow me but, as you know, I like any holiday that calls for arts & crafts so I spent all last evening making rocky road and no-bake cookies and all this morning hand-making and -painting paper boxes to wrap it up in.

Last week a student asked, "Ms. Roeser, how many boyfriends do you have?" "About 507," I replied. That was a lie. I have a lot of extra chocolate in pretty boxes. Who's lonely? I can help.

I'M BACK!

I am! I am SUPER back, because it's 2011 and it's MY LIFE, man! So I have two more months of tedious exams and stinky breath on trains, but to those things I say WHATEVS. I've got good bones for a good life and all the boring stuff can blow me.

Hey, fuck you, desk! You're not important! You didn't create me! You're not my life! I have better things to look at!

Like long lonely winter corridors, like long lonely walks under tracks at night with my headphones on and my boot heels in the background! That's better. That's what I want to do. Miles of that > hours of desk, DEF.

And SUNSETS! Over MOUNTAINS! Over BALCONIES! I'll take that.

And BOOZE? And TIGHTS? And FLORAL SHEETS? Yes, these are good.

Art museums, also welcome!

Oceans, bays, rivers, you are always number one. You are number one! Walks, nights, booze, beds, tights, bays, dreams, fits, trips, smoke, sun, AFTERNOONS, film, rock, and big yellow sweater. You are all number one. It's 2011, and I'm still 25, and I'm not gonna be in Tokyo forever. Hit it!

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Yesterday it was fucking snowing. WTF. But today was beautiful. I tried to call my mom in the morning. She didn't answer, but her ring tone was Boston's Long Time/Foreplay. It put me in such a good mood. Let me share that with you.

Leaves! Leaves! Leaves! Summer! I'm ready!

I'm always relaxed and productive at this kissaten. I went there after lunch to work on lesson plans. I'm adjusting to a major lifestyle change this month. For the last year I've been working at a bottom-rung teaching job, part-time, miserable work, no money, and so much free time. It's been an extremely interesting. I'm not sure if you can tell or not. I know some of you can, haha.

I don't like jobs. I'm almost 25 and I still say that, and you shouldn't bother telling me to grow up. I want to live my weird life and write however I want and that's it. I just have to keep finding ways to get away with it. For now I'm compromising because I get my own class of older kids who speak native English and I get to teach them literary analysis however I want. I was hoping this would help ease the pain of waking up at 5:30 and getting home at 6:20 and going to bed at 10:30 and having no time to work on anything of my own. I was right. I don't have as much time to get into trouble but I am really fascinated with the way everything looks right now.

Plus, no more school lunch, so I get to pack my own! Don't make fun of it. You got camarones in your bento? Creo que no.

I also made cornbread today! It was so good. I love these cans of baking powder. I meant to learn to cook Japanese food in Japan but I didn't find it all that fun, for some reason.

PARFAIT TIME

CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

Bottom right features a Mrs. Kikuchi, apple juice, and a high five on the side. Apple juice was a popular drink accompaniment.


If I'm to eat a cheese parfait I'll be needing a cheese spoon.


THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT

Yaki-Yaki Parfait at bottom left, impressive.


Chocolate ice cream, tamago sushi, sweet potato, natto soda, vanilla ice cream, red wine. Child, you are the future.

Very? A little?

The sad poster is still my favorite thing I've ever drawn for school, while the Michael Jackson shows that I'm really no good at all! I can't put any motion or tension into anything, ever. But it's okay. I like to draw and being able to do it all the time and learn to develop an actual style for school materials has been the best part of working in Japan. Better than eating school lunch and dancing with children? Yes. Oooh. Someday soon. Someday soon I might tell you a thing or two about teaching English in Japan.

I had higher hopes for this. Look at that guy's weird emotionless arms. Haha. The kids like it, though. They are not very discerning critics. Who is? I plan to fall in love with a discerning critic someday.

How are you?

I hate being sleepy at work. When I'm on the verge of passing out I make posters and drawings to keep myself awake. I draw weird when I'm exhausted and those ones are sometimes my favorites.

This would have been a FEELINGS poster, like hungry, sleepy, happy, bored, sad, nervous... but I don't remember drawing it and can't figure out what the fuck I could possibly have been trying to illustrate.I don't know if you can see it but this fellow in his winter hat seems to be holding a closed hand to his chest while staring at... what?

P.S. Don't drink that Tully's coffee. It was the worst ever.

Self-Portraits

Okay, kids, your turn.

Great job!

Wow!

Geez!

Okay!

The Battle of the Fangs

This is my younger brother Tommy

and when he sends books he doesn't fuck around.

I'm way, way thankful for my family. No kiddin.

POP QUIZ! re: Today

How are you?

What are you doing?

Why so alarmed?

Do you want to smell like pancakes?

Teaching English in Japan

That's what I'm doing here. I was teaching at a junior high school in Yamagata, but I ended up in an elementary school in Tokyo, which I did not want. The night before my first day of work I ended up on the balcony chain-smoking, cradling a wine bottle, bawling to my friends through the open sliding door that being child-friendly would destroy my soul. But I've learned to deal with it and I get to do arts and crafts all the time. These are the things I've had the most fun making this year. I made the shopping exercise after Michael Jackson died. The students had to buy each item of clothing with their shopping vocabulary and then color it in. I love the vegetables because they look so delicious like cartoon food. And I'm not sure what I like so much about the sad poster but I think it's one of the best things I've ever drawn.

Geez.

1. How much do you weigh?

2. Do you prefer strong men, or smart men?

3. Do you dislike marijuana?

10 year olds are hard-hitters at question time, man.

Note from student.

Dear Beth,
Thank you very much でした。
Are you legend?
You are legend.
I think so, too.
See you goodbye.

- 4 Days

I'm getting fat and loaded with free stuff this week. Some favorites so far:

Giant bouquet from my students.

White Day chocolates.

This adorable drawing of me. (Can you spot my new slogan?)

Junior high graduation is a big deal in Japan. I remember JHS in America being 3 years of bullshit where no one could wait to get to high school. Here, high school is where the hard work begins. In their last year of JHS, Japanese students study their brains out for high school entrance exams. I was really surprised by how hard junior high school kids work in Japan, and they'll only work harder from here on out.

One of my favorite students showed up late to graduation and missed getting handed his diploma. Shocking! He's a sullen little thing, too cool for everything but video games and J-Rock. A few days ago he broke dress codes by slightly lightening and spiking his hair, and he got a lot of shit in the teacher's room. I wouldn't be surprised if his obviously calculated tardiness at graduation was an act of revenge. You know what I say? You go on, little J-Rock. Stick it to 'em while you still can. I will never be a real teacher, haha.

My brother's big in Japan

My brother Tommy is really cool. As you can see, he's 21 years old, super tall, and has an epic head of hair. When I talk about my family during my self-introduction in elementary schools, the kids get really excited about my brother. Then if I go to erase my drawings to make room on the chalkboard, there's always a riot when my eraser approaches Tommy: "NOOO! TOMMYYY! NOOO!" Last time I left him in the corner, and when I came back to the school a week later he was still there. The homeroom teacher told me that the kids had begged her not to erase him and she ended up working around it for the whole week. Haha!

When I'm wrapping up my last class at a school, I let them ask questions about whatever they want, and 75% of them are always about TOMMY-SAN. The first three are always, "Why does he have an afro?" "How long has he had the afro?" and, "Do you like his afro?" The unanimous opinion among elementary school children in Yamagata is that Tommy is extremely cool.

Sometimes I get a really deadpan class and I'm braced for a difficult lesson, but as soon as Tommy shows up, everyone sits up and is ready to go. Seriously. It's really funny, like he's actually here with me as my teaching sidekick.

If my brother came to teach here he would probably revolutionize English education in Japan.

WHO'S THAT?

I'm putting Allen Ginsberg on a grammar worksheet.

The heck are they gonna do about it?